Sunday, September 6, 2009

Shipping policy

We're pleased to announce that Jighionk;leaf has a new shipping policy to better compete with Ikea! This policy is called JOGHINTDOGPUPPY

1. If you order from us online it will take 2-54 weeks to arrive.
2. We will not take orders by phone.
3. The best way to purchase something from us is to come to the store, walk through the labyrinth that is our show room, get lost roughly 5 times, spend 3 hours trying to get out and then go to the self-help section where there is a 5% chance the furniture will be there.
4. We ship everything from Ukraine. We realize it makes more sense to ship something from a store near you, but we like to ship things from Ukraine. Deal with it.
5. If you disagree with these policies, tough. To close, here are some gibberish words that we're going to name furniture pieces we sell:

HFANKEF
EAFKSKRGMNEGLA
YYYEYEYYYYYEYEY
THEYEAHYEAHYEAHS
SEFGTHYEI

We are so fucking cheap, though.

Dressers

Here are the names for the following dressers:

HJKEAIFN
PLOPPLORPTON
COMMUNISTO
IKEASUCKS

HAFENSHITTER Chairs now in stock!

That's right! The new HAFENSHITTER Chairs are now in stock replacing the wildly popular JIKPOOPER chairs that are now completely sold out. These follow the long line of popular chairs NAKACRAPPER, JUNMETOILET and IAMGOINGTOGOPOOPBECAUSEISATONTHISCHAIR.

TATOOINE brand couches!

These couches are plush and comfortable. They are furnished with special FDJAEAFKEJKN fabric and also have some amazing KLOPKLORPT legs to boot. Ikea, eat your heart out. You're at Jighionk;leaf now!